Negotiating a cease-fire with my irritable bowels.
Negotiating a cease-fire with my irritable bowels.
Posting this from a financially-crippling Apple product.
Bleaching the skulls of my enemies.
Finding a box fan in stock. Anywhere.
Competing for the coveted world record in urination distance.
Sporting a bitchin’ fanny pack.
Sending post-dated emails so it looks like I work late.
Taking candy from babies. And then selling it to slightly older children.
Buying carbon offsets.
Sobering up.
